I’m taking time out tonight to pause for a bit before the craziness of the holiday season officially begins for me.
I have mixed feelings about this particular Christmas. It’s the first one I will have without my dad. Granted, I haven’t spent Christmas physically with him since 2005, but my dad was the type of person who was always there at the other end of the line. In a world of change, for better or worse, he was the only constant. And now, when I call home, he won’t be there anymore to pick up.
It will be doubly hard on my mom because it will be her first Christmas alone in 30 years. Rather than go to other relatives’ houses, my mom said she just wanted to be at home with my sister. She plans on inviting all the family members of our household help so they can be together for the holidays and have a nice meal, even if she doesn’t have everyone in her own family at the same place.
Then there’s the fact that I’m turning the big 3-0 this holiday season. When I started working and I was the only 20-year-old at the office, I felt that those who were 30 were old. Now I’m that age. Sometimes, I feel my age, especially when I’m talking to people younger than me who are wide-eyed and don’t have the life experience that only age can teach you.
I’m happy to say though that I’m not disappointed, at least where my career is concerned. Yes, I’m not the richest person on earth and I don’t think I’ll ever be really rich, but I love what I do. Everything that I have actually thought I would be doing when I was growing up, I’m doing right now. The road was not smooth and the first few years showed no clear signs that I was going to get here, but here I am.
I still haven’t lost my desire to learn. I try to experience new things at least a couple of times a month. And yes, I’m still figuring out where I want to go next. The only thing I haven’t done yet is write a book, and I’m planning to do that soon, when I get my ducks in a row and I have a little breathing space.
No matter what situation you are in, there is always hope. Things always happen for a reason. And even if sorrow is with you, always remember that this too shall pass.
To those who read this blog, wherever you are in the world, happy holidays!
5 Comments
December 20, 2007 at 12:32 am
Merry Christmas!
December 20, 2007 at 1:36 am
Sounds like your mom gets the transitory nature of relationships – empty nests, relocation, death of loved ones. I think she is trying to adapt after your father’s passing and is possibly redefining her own traditions to include not only her immediate family but also the folks with whom she had experienced life and loss.
The holidays can be rough on separated families and friends but perhaps even tougher on those who are trapped to spend the holidays with the usual cast of characters they don’t even like and would rather not see.
Have a great holiday, Amee.
December 20, 2007 at 7:49 pm
You now are officially a lola! Hahahaha! Merry christmas and advanced happy birthday!
December 21, 2007 at 6:33 pm
Dear Amee,
I want you to know that your blog gave me pause, just thinking of your parents and the adjustment your Mom is going through right now. My own Mom who is 73 was just hospitalized and thankfully is now recovering. Life is precious indeed. Carpe Diem.
Many Happy Returns on your 30th birthday, Amee! I bet you will be celebrating with good friends as you should. Your living well and enjoying what you do is the greatest gift you can give your parents. I know, I have four kids, 3 of them are in their 20’s now. So…ENJOY your bday!
I understand, this is a very rough time for your Mom & sister as they will feel your Papa’s absence in a big way. I know it is also very, very hard on you. Just remember how proud your Papa must be knowing you are doing exactly what makes you happy.
Maligayang Pasko and Manigong Bagong Taon sa iyo, young lady.
Bless you and your family.
LPM
December 22, 2007 at 12:30 am
Thank you all. Your comments and words of encouragement are much appreciated.